I numbers which made me feel so

I left my first boyfriend which is my first ex because it’s too complicated. I have a lot of reasons why i just decided to left him suddenly. We were in relationship for 2 years and half and all I can say is that I just wasted my time being in a relationship with him, it was totally shit and I regret it. I have so many painful memories left here and it can’t be easily forgotten. I have been also suffering like you because of him, he used to flirt with others without me knowing it. I thought he was with his cousin or calling his family or friends but just knew that he still calling his ex gf, if not his ex its other girls whom I didn’t know. A lot of random phone numbers without names calling on his phone and also there were incoming messages from unknown numbers which made me feel so paranoid. I can’t focus on my work because I’m always thinking about him and i am so scared that he might left me. We were almost one year in relationship when I just knew that something happened between him and his ex girlfriend when we were still in 2 months relationship and I was really shocked and I just can’t believe that he did that to me. I really don’t know what to do or what to feel at that time. I want to punch him and tell me the truth but he just keep on denying it ,he even said that his ex had the guts to do it because she was jealous and she just trying to ruin our relationship. I just found out that it was indeed true when my ex went to his hometown and his big brother told me the story while he was not here because I was so emotional at that time because there were rumors spreading that he was dating and courting another girl at their hometown. We were in long distance relationship at that time and it was really the worst feeling i had ever experience. I can’t stop crying at that time, i don’t even eat normally because i don’t have appetite. I am just crying in my room waiting for his reply but I got the reply when I was about to sleep. I am really depressed that I don’t want to go out in my room. After all i have done and spending efforts for him, still it was not enough. I can only count the efforts he did for me but if you were to compare my efforts it was far better than him but one time I knew something that he really do flirting with others with evidence thats the time when I planned to just end our relationship. We do have closure and I think having closure is less painful than leaving without knowing any reasons. While enduring all those pain, I can’t count all the tears I had shedded. I can’t count the prayers I prayed. I knealed and pleaded so many hours just to forget him. God is really powerful, i thought i cant get over him but after months I just knew that the pain I have inside is getting healed. I used to go out alone and enjoy music without thinking him anymore. you just really have to feel all the pain, you just have to cry and cry. Dont force yourself not to express your emotions. You should express it by crying but not to the extent that you will hurt yourself physically. And of course ask help from God that you will soon be healed from pain its really powerful. You dont have to block him, you just have to try accepting things that both of you were not meant for each other. Memories can’t fade, the pain heals but there are already scars so you can’t forget that pain. It can be healed but you can still remember how painful it was so you are more careful the next time you choose a person to love. Acceptance is the key to forget that person and prayer. Goodluck! Sooner or later you will just realized that you already move on from him just remember the word pray and accept.